Where do I begin...
After Nicolas I went to the Dr. and I said, "I am done having children, I need a permanent form of birth control." We talked about a lot of options and nothing was a good fit. In fact, I sat in his office and bawled my eyes out the whole time. I am not sure why, and I am sure that he thought that I was absolutely crazy!!!
So now, I am pregnant with my 9th child. I am thrilled, I am also very nervous and stressed out.
Let's see....Nine children, that is A LOT to take care of, that is a lot of mouths to feed. That is A LOT of college tuitions to pay. That is A LOT of weddings to plan. Seriously, what am I thinking?
But now I know "she" is coming, I don't want anything bad to happen.
I have an 18 year old. She is at college. I am that Mormon joke. "How do you know it's a mormon wedding? The bride isn't pregnant, her mother is." That is me....just a college student, not a bride.
These past few weeks have been a roller coaster ride that I have not enjoyed being on. What if there is something wrong. I am after all 41. That is pretty old. I am after all overweight! Both of those don't help my situation. What if there is something wrong, it will be ok. I have a lot of family and friends that will support me.
I went to the Dr. yesterday and had an ultrasound and saw "her" she is great, I saw "her" strong heartbeat, "her" arms, "her" face. She is real! She is coming! I wanted so much to just start crying, I said a little prayer of gratitude instead.
We are not rich by any means. Chris works at the MTC for crying out loud. You know the saying about a church job. The salary isn't great, but the benefits are eternal!
What am I thinking? I am not sure, but I wouldn't change a thing!! I am BLESSED!
P.S. I am calling this baby a girl because I had a dream about her before I knew I was pregnant.
Chris gave me a wonderful blessing when I was just a few weeks along. I need to think about that when I am nervous and stressed out.
Bubba says if it is a girl, he is going to beat her up, and if it is a boy his name should be Hamburger Guy. Don't ask me...he is weird! But I get to laugh at him everyday!
1 week ago