I was in darkness, this is what helped pull me out.

First of all, I am very apprehensive to share my experiences with anyone and everyone who stumbles upon my blog, but I feel like it might help someone so it's worth it to me.

Aug. 26th 2018 is one of the worst days of my life.  (I know I've said that before, the first time Millie had a seizure, and the day my dad died are the other 2 worst days. I think I can have multiple worst days.)

The trauma of that day replays over and over and over and over...you get the point. 

Watching my daughter collapse as she realizes that her husband's body is under a white tarp next to his bike, her worst nightmare come true. Watching her whole body shake  as she tries to understand what has just happened.

But that is another post for another day...I still can't go there.

Here's what finally helped me climb out of where I've been.

We had a special Stake Conference and Sis. Debbie Christensen spoke to us. She referenced a talk given by Elder Lawrence Corbridge, "The Way"

https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2008/10/the-way?lang=eng

Here are 3 quotes I've pulled from his talk the 3rd one being my favorite one:

1. “There is only one way to happiness and fulfillment. He is the Way. Every other way, any other way, whatever other way, is foolishness.”

2.  “Only God can bless us. Only He can sustain us. Only He can cause our hearts to beat and give us breath. Only He can preserve and protect us. Only He can give us strength to bear up the burdens of life. Only He can give us power, knowledge, peace, and joy. Only He can forgive our sins. Only He can heal us. Only He can change us and forge a godly soul. Only He can bring us back into His presence. And He will do all of that and much more if we but remember Him to keep His commandments. What then shall we do? We will remember Him to keep His commandments. It is the only intelligent thing to do.”

3.  “The Lord’s way is not hard. Life is hard, not the gospel. “There is an opposition in all things,” everywhere, for everyone. Life is hard for all of us, but life is also simple. We have only two choices. We can either follow the Lord and be endowed with His power and have peace, light, strength, knowledge, confidence, love, and joy, or we can go some other way, any other way, whatever other way, and go it alone—without His support, without His power, without guidance, in darkness, turmoil, doubt, grief, and despair. And I ask, which way is easier?”

I knew I wanted the Lord's way. I wanted to be endowed with His power and have peace, light, strength, knowledge, confidence, love, and joy.

Then President Nelson spoke at the Christmas devotional:

https://www.lds.org/broadcasts/article/christmas-devotional/2018/12/four-gifts-that-jesus-christ-offers-to-you?lang=eng

“Tonight let us consider together the blessings that come to us as we focus on the life, mission, doctrine, and Atonement of the Lord Jesus Christ. I invite you, as King Benjamin did for Saints in his day, to “consider on the blessed and happy state of those that keep the commandments of God.” That blessing is for us here and now, but added to it is the eventual promise of “never-ending happiness.” Simply stated, true followers of Jesus Christ have the privilege of experiencing unspeakable joy forever.”

“I invite you to consider your own desires. What are your deepest desires? What do you really want to experience and accomplish in this life? Do you really want to become more and more like Jesus Christ? Do you really want to live with Heavenly Father and with your family forever and live as He lives?”

The four gifts:  READ ALL OF THESE-SO POWERFUL!!

1. Love

2. Forgiveness

3. Repentance

4. Eternal life

The whole talk is good though.

The 3rd experience came to me in the temple.

I was reading in Helaman chapter 5:28

And it came to pass that they were overshadowed with a cloud of darkness, and an awful solemn fear came upon them.

I felt like that scripture was describing me. I was overshadowed with a cloud of darkness and I had so much fear. Constantly.

I decided to keep reading because there had to be an answer to this darkness.

Verse 40: The question

And it came to pass that the Lamanites said unto him: What shall we do, that this cloud of darkness may be removed from overshadowing us?

VERSE 41: The ANSWER

And Aminadab said unto them: You must repent, and cry unto the voice, even until ye shall have faith in Christ, who was taught unto you by Alma, and Amulek, and Zeezrom; and when ye shall do this, the cloud of darkness shall be removed from overshadowing you.

Repent and have faith in Christ.

Those answers seem so simple.

But it worked for me.

I know it can work for you.