In my OWN opinion...
This has been a week. I am exhausted emotionally and that is putting it lightly.
First of all, Emily got in a 4 wheeling accident and was really hurt. She received 2 blessings and they both said that she would heal completely. I have faith in that and I believe in what was said.
When I first talked to her, I was glad that she sounded good and I could understand her. She said, "I have a goose egg." but she should have said, "I have half a grapefruit on the back of my head." Both of the Drs. that saw her today said that if she didn't wear her helmet, she probably wouldn't be here. That is scary. I am so glad that Hillmans had her wear a helmet. I might have been soft on that if I were there. Not good.
She had a hard day on Sunday and then I started to doubt. Not because of the blessings, but because of the things that people were telling me. I KNOW that it was intended in the best way...I know that. However, it was still difficult to process. At first I thought that maybe when the blessing said to seek medical attention for comfort and reassurance it was for me, but after the appointments, I realize the medical attention was for Emily. She is doing so much better now knowing that she really is ok. So, I am ok. I wasn't doubting, it makes me feel better to know that I really can and do rely on the Priesthood.
And secondly, there is another situation going on in our home, but I am not going to share the details right now. But it is one of the most DIFICULT things I have been through up to this point. I feel so, I don't even know the words...helpless...
I feel like my love is being questioned and my counsel ignored. I want so much for this to just be over. But the lessons have not been learned yet. The growth hasn't happened yet.
I think the best advice I've been given is to stay in the here and now. Don't think about the "what if's." It's good advice, it's really hard for me to do. For example, if my 2 year old were to steal a piece of candy, I don't need to jump straight to, he's going to be a thief and go to jail.
Again, I know my Father in Heaven is there for me and He will help me through this and I will be different when I get to the other side of this situation. I appreciate my family so much and I love them with my whole heart. Chris and I talked and talked and talked until 4:00 am. I am tired.
4 months ago
6 comments:
I'm here if you ever need to talk.
Sorena, I love you so much. I marvel at the love and joy that surrounds your family and the faith and trust you put in Heavenly Father. You have amazing kids with so many missions and life lessond infront of them-you are the perfect mother for them-which means you are extremly multifaceted :)
Sorena, wow - I am sorry that you are in the midst of multiple trials.. I think that when we have trial in our lives, it is a reminder that Heavenly Father is thinking of us and he wants to see us grow. Sure hope you know that you have friends that love you and are here for you - even if you just want to pick up the phone to call us and cry. DO IT!!
I sure hope that I didn't say anything to cause you to doubt your comfort on Sunday? I keep trying to think what I said... sure hope I didn't say anything - I am sorry if I did.
Sure love you!
Thanks. "Our Family"-of course you didn't say anything to make it worse. I'll just say it is of the older generationa and leave it at that. Because I know it was meant out of love.
Thank you all for the support. I am actually feeling better today. Lindsey and Camille were throwing up yesterday and Drew just wanted to be held, so it was a little rough, but we are good now. Let's see if anyone else gets sick... Thanks also for the love that you all have for my children it is AMAZING!!
THANKS AGAIN for everything!!
It is that "adult" children thing! I liked it so much better when I could give a stern look, a time out or take a privlege away...and it worked. Now all that I have left is a useless stern look and that is putting wrinkles in the wrong places! "Time out" is a welcomed time alone and how can you take away the phone that they pay for?
All kidding aside, there is still heavenly help through all of the stages including this one! And you have already proven you've got what it takes!
On NO!!! You have the throw ups at your house too. My sister in law has that in her home too. I guess get it over with before school starts :) Glad you are having a better day! Loves to you! "Our Family" (I never know which email to use as my login so it is a surprise to me too when I see which one comes up. :) Kaye
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